That sounds about right.

I definitely don't agree with determining how much you spend based on how much they spend per guest. I mean if the couple spent a fortune on each guest not everyone can afford to base their gift amount on that...

Of course you have to remember by the time you go to get the actual wedding gift, chances are you've already spent $ on a shower gift, and $ on a lingerie shower gift, and sometimes $ on a honey-do gift.

It's wedding season and I'm in over my head.

that sounds about right to me. I spend $100 on very close friends, $50 on other friends, and $30 for acquaintances (people from work, etc)

but honestly, if/when I have more money later in life, I will probably spend more. I completely understood when some friends who were still in school when we got married didn't give us a gift at all or just spent $20 or so.

oh, and last weekend at a wedding where there was a cash bar, my husband spent $200 to open a tab for wedding guests. I'm not sure he could have persueded (sp?) me to do that if I was sober, but I know the bride and groom loved it. that was in addition to about a $35 wedding gift.

Syako - I feel ya!

Last weekend I attended 2 weddings - one in SC and one in OH... one for a family member and the other for 2 very close friends. I still have several coming up - luckily I won't be traveling for all of them.

$200 is a bit steep for me right now. I spend less, especially if I've traveled.

I attended a wedding last month and even though I've known the bride for almost 20 years, I could only afford a gift in the $50 range because I just have too many financial obligations right now. (And also because I flew from the East Coast to the West Coast for her wedding.) It really all depends on your budget. Another friend of mine got married last fall and because I was a bridesmaid and spent over $1K on the responsibilities of being a bridesmaid alone, I didn't have all that much left for her wedding gift. Sigh.

I spend $100 no matter who was it is. If I bring a guest to the wedding than I would spend $200.

I am with cubadog. That is my minimum. For our closest friends' wedding we bought them $500 of their china.

I usually go with about $100 per wedding. More if it's a family member.

I am about $100 per wedding.

I think weddings are pretty much stupid, over-hyped, and a huge waste of money. My husband and I decline any invitations we get. We figure since your wedding is going to be boring anyways, and you'll be too wrapped up in your family/new husband to notice if we're there or not, we'll just stay at home (or go have some fun of our own!), send you a card, and you can buy your own damn gift with the money you save on two less guests. Works for everyone!

I usually give about a $100-$150 depending on who it is. I know this is awful but I try and base gifts on what certain couples gave me for my wedding. If someone gave me a $30 gift for my wedding then I am not going to be giving them a huge gift at their wedding. Is that wrong?

lesley - I don't think that's wrong - unless your wedding was years ago and said friend WAS a poor starving college student but would today probably spend a lot more on your gift.

I must be a cheapskate! $200 seems steep to me. I think for family we spend $100. Does it matter what area of the country you live in? Maybe Midwesterners are more frugal. And I usually don't get invited to a lot of fancy weddings!

In the Russian community, it is customary to give money, at least $100/person. If it's someone that's really close, me and my fiance will give $200 (for the both of us.) For our wedding we expect people to give at least the same. The assumption is that you are 'paying' for your place at the wedding, and there aren't any connotations of cash-only being tacky. In fact, it's really awesome because we don't have to do a registry!

I am by NO means rolling around in money -- I'm a poor Ph.D. student, working 80 hours per week in the lab making $24,000/year, but I would never, EVER give less than $100 for a wedding gift. Usually, I give closer to the $200 range, more for closer friends. It's a (hopefully) once in a lifetime event!

Brendelwoman -- I believe location plays a key part in the amount spent. I was raised and returned home to marry in South Dakota and people certainly were more frugal than I had become accustomed to out east. I never noticed until I moved out east and returned home for the wedding and put 2+2 together... Perhaps because the price of living tends to be lower and there are less expensive goods stores around (pottery barn, c & b, high-end department stores), this is why?

I have to admit, that I haven't given gifts to my two closest friends, and niether of them expected one. That being said, I was both of thier maids of honour. With all the costs involved, including travel for one, the need for a 'gift' was less important than the fact that I was there to share and support through every stage of thier big day.

Good grief. You all must know better people than I do or something. At my wedding, the only gifts or checks that I received over $50 were from my grandparents and my parents.

And personally, I'd rather just give them soemthing that they want and that I can afford without going into debt for them.

Why in the world are we going to weddings of people that we aren't close to? Why do we invite people to our weddings that we aren't close to?

Its all relative. Most of the weddings I've been to, even if they have been close friends and family, have involved signicant contributions of time and money, usually in the form of travel arrangements and bridesmaid dresses. I don't have it in me to spend $200 on a gift after showers, dresses, alterations, accessories, airfare, etc.

I'm also from the Midwest, and $200 seems steep to me. I didn't get any gifts more than maybe $50-75 from anyone except my parents and mother in law (who paid for our catering). I didn't expect it, though. One of my best friends did sort of cheap out and it irked me - she got me a very inexpensive mirror/candleholder. I like it, but I always thought she could have put a little more into the whole thing. It was disappointing, but I didn't hold it against her. She's not much of a gift person.

I don't get too many wedding invitations, and that's a good thing. I enjoy attending if I like the person (i.e. a friend), but for acquaintances and relatives like cousins, I don't feel any obligation. If I attend those sort of weddings, I usually give a gift around $50 or so.

It all depends on how close I am to the couple. I don't get many wedding invites from anyone that isn't a really good friend or relative though. I spent about $150 on my brother's wedding gifts, plus I also gave them a check. For a close friend I spent $75 on gifts and gave a check in a card at the wedding also. Recently, a family friend got married and I think I spent $60.

It definitely depends on how much the couple means to me. I'd spend as much as I could afford on my good friends.

I would hope that everyone would know the people who are getting married rather well at any wedding they attend! I try to go by what the couple has in their registry- I have even called the MOH or MOB to find out if there was something they really, really, really wanted, even if it was only a $20 cocktail shaker.

Region defintely plays a part in it. In Oregon giving an actual gift at the weddnig is normal my first wedding in NYC I asked where someone was registered and I was told that you give money at the wedding and an actual gift at the shower.

I am from the Midwest, and I think the standard is still $100 per person. I also live in Chicago, so maybe that makes a difference. So does being Polish. But even at non-Polish weddings most people I know give at least $100 per person ... more for the closest friends and family.

I think this sounds about right.

Especially if you are applying the rule to the gifts you will also purchase and give at the Bridal Shower, Bachelorette Party, and the Wedding Gift.

Cause it all adds up! $$$

I spent about $400 on the present for my bff, but mostly because hers was an International destination wedding and I could not attend and I felt bad!

I'm a horrible person when it comes to these types of gifts. If I'm invited to showers, bacheloretts, etc. and I can't make it, I don't send anything - which I know is probably the normal thing to do. I just add what I would have spent into a big gift that I send for the wedding. It's just easier to send one thing than five things.

I do agree with the pricing structure above. Weddings are so expensive!!!!

Lawchick- I was in the same situation with my friends when I got married. Now, they are all getting married and we can afford pricier gifts!

Wow, Foxie, I guess you don't like to celebrate with friends/family?

Now I spend about $100-$200...when I was poorer, $50-$100

I determine it by how close of a friend/family member they are, and how much we spent to attend the wedding. If it was a local wedding I usually spend more-a little less if we had to travel. And I hate giving checks-it feels strange to give my friends monetary gifts. I much prefer giving an actual gift.

My family is small and my friends are either single or long married. I don't enjoy celebrating with friendly aquaintences who honestly only invite me (and most of the other guests!) in order to get gifts.

This is a problem Im going to have. Im going to be a bridesmaid in my cousin's wedding and she lives two hours away. With the cost of gas, the dress, the shoes, the gifts for the bachelorette party (passion party), hotel room, hair, & bridal shower...I will be broke. I really dont know how much I will be able to afford but Im positive 200 is out of my price range.

i don't think you should go to a wedding if you are going to spend less than $100. knowing that people are paying somewhere around $100 a plate, i think it would be rude to show up with a $50 gift. just don't go if you can't afford $100.

That calculation he came up with is a good one, but I usually just get whatever gift seems best for the couple and don't really look at the price.

$200 sounds insane to me. I might spend that on a sibling, but even that's pushing it. Maybe it's a regional thing?

It depends - I usually spend $20-50 - but then again, I watch for sales or hit discount stores. I got a REALLY nice Mikasa vase for a couple that cost a fraction of the price at an outlet store. I don't feel bad about it, either!