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Dear Poll: What's More Important? The Wedding or the Honeymoon?

Fri, 06/27/2008 - 7:00am by DearSugar
731 Views - 25 comments

My friend is getting married later this month in a fairly modest wedding — just over 30 people at her grandparents' home. She and her fiancé decided to take all the money they would be spending on a bigger wedding and plan an ultrafabulous honeymoon.

This isn’t the first time I’ve heard a couple put their honeymoon plans before wedding celebrations, and while I can’t say whether or not it’s what I’d want for myself, I definitely see the appeal. What do you think? Is the wedding or the honeymoon more important to you?

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25 Comments Add a Comment

  • j2e1n9's picture
    j2e1n9
    1

    Wow your friend sounds a lot like me!

    I totally plan on using almost all the $ on the honeymoon and not the wedding. Sticking out tongue

    27 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • simplyfab87's picture
    simplyfab87
    3

    I'm with javsmav on this one.
    But if I had to pick, I would say the wedding. I see the honeymoon as a waste of time. I don't really want to go on one. My bf thinks the exact opposite, so we'll see how that works out.

    27 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • nv27's picture
    nv27
    4

    My boyfriend and I agree that the wedding is just one day and its the marriage that matters. We'd rather not blow a ton of money to have a ton of people at our wedding. We'll have a small, intimate wedding and a big luxurious honeymoon.

    27 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • SusanTeufel's picture
    SusanTeufel
    5

    I am having the wedding I want, which isn't huge, and I am going to Dragon*Con for my honeymoon :3 Lol.

    It's no out of country destination, but it will be something we can always do for our anniversary!

    27 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • Jessee's picture
    Jessee
    6

    The wedding seems to be more about the family and friends. We wanted to elope, but the fam wouldn't have any of that! So, we're keeping the wedding to 40 people max and leaving the next day on a week-long fall cruise along the east coast.

    27 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • Jude C's picture
    Jude C
    8

    The honeymoon, for sure. We plan on going to Cyprus, and that's sure to provide a lot more fun and memories than standing about in fancy clothes for a few hours!

    27 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • imLissy's picture
    imLissy
    9

    My wedding is the only day I'll get to have everyone I love in the same room together. To me, that's a huge deal. I don't care at all about the honeymoon. I have no desire to travel anywhere.

    27 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • designerel's picture
    designerel
    10

    i would spend more on the honeymoon than the wedding that's for sure. but even so, i'd make sure to put some of that money away in a nest egg!

    27 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • ElizabethRae's picture
    ElizabethRae
    11

    THANK YOU to all the people who said the marriage.

    Everyone emphasizes the wedding itself and we forget that marriage is supposed to be a lifetime commitment. The napkins and flowers won't help you build a lasting relationship.

    Dear - I'd like to see a post about communication skills or conflict resolution techniques. Those are the things that make a relationship - not honeymoons and loads of sex.

    27 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • Martini Rossi's picture
    Martini Rossi
    12

    Since marriage isnt an option here. I pick wedding. Honeymoon doesnt always have to be right after the wedding so that can wait.

    27 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • cmd0610's picture
    cmd0610
    13

    I say wedding (and marriage of course but that wasn't the poll question) My fiance and I already live together so our view on the honeymoon is just like any other vacation that we already take normally but the wedding is one special day that's just for us and about our love and we are really excited to have that memory even if it's just one day in our lives together . . .plus i agree with imLissy about having all the people you care and love together to celebrate

    27 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • graylen's picture
    graylen
    14

    I don't think the question was saying that marriage isn't important. It's clearly asking of your specific wedding time, is the wedding or the honeymoon of more importance to you. That being said, I think each would be equally important to me.

    27 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • Deidre's picture
    Deidre
    15

    Abosolutely agree that marriage is the primary thing here overall! But in regards to the poll at hand, I'd honestly say for myself the wedding and the honeymoon are of equal importance for entirely different reasons. In planning my wedding now, the event honestly doesn't have much to do with my fiance or me -- it's about getting our closest friends and family together to thank them for supporting and loving us. We're trying to plan an event that they will all enjoy (and a reunion or sorts for spread-out family and old college buddies). The honeymoon will be our selfish time -- that's an experience for us to get away from the wedding madness and reconnect to remember why we chose to spend our lives together in the first place.

    27 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • qbluecheers's picture
    qbluecheers
    16

    I think it depends on the relationship. If you're already living together and/or having sex, I think the actual wedding is more important. But, if you're saving sex for marriage, I think the honeymoon is waaaay more important.

    27 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • KimNovak's picture
    KimNovak
    17

    I have to say that pretty much throughout the entire day of the wedding I was clock watching. I was soooo excited to get to the airport and leave for Antigua which was our honeymoon destination.

    I know it sounds a little bit rude, but after all the planning and spending and parents interfering I just was totally ready to just get to that honeymoon.

    I think the marriage is more important but I was more interested in the honeymoon.

    Kim
    http://www.printable-wedding-invitations.com

    27 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • GlowingMoon's picture
    GlowingMoon
    18

    "Neither — I’d rather take the money and buy a house."

    This is sort of what my husband and I did. I didn't want a wedding or honeymoon. We used our money to off our debts. Within a short time, we were completely debt-free. We even paid-off our student loans (including those from graduate and professional schools). We were in our 20's. We spent our money improving our financial health.

    27 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • JaimeLeah526's picture
    JaimeLeah526
    19

    If I had tons of money to spend on a wedding or honeymoon I'd rather have a small wedding, a nice but not overly expensive honeymoon and take the money and buy a house. If I had to choose between a nice wedding or a nice honeymoon I'd pick a nice honeymoon, that is more about the couple. I'd say the marriage is the most important part of it not the celebration.

    27 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • italianblonde's picture
    italianblonde
    22

    The wedding!! Hopefully it's a day where you recognize you're joining your lives together, and it's great to have a nice reception with everyone you know until all hours that night!! The honeymoon doesn't have to be a vacation..it's basically the first few months of your marriage, so I definitely say the wedding is important!!

    27 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • EricaJane's picture
    EricaJane
    24

    I'm still waiting for my honeymoon.. so once I have one, maybe I'll change my mind.. I put a lot of focus on my wedding though, not to mention a lot of money, so I feel that it is pretty important.. Trips have a lot of variables out of your control, but an event that is typically so thoroughly planned out is expected to run more smoothly, and just seems like the bigger memory in the long run. Aren't honeymoons filled with fuzzy memory mimosas and margaritas??? Smiling

    25 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • calli gurl's picture
    calli gurl
    25

    honeymoon
    my wedding, i want it to be a small gathering of my closest friends and family and his closest friends and family. but i want my honeymoon to be HUGE. its the first time im gonna do it and i want it to be perfect! wedding is just about letting people know that im married and getting gifts. but the honeymoon is about connecting, first time as hubby and wife. spending a kind of vacation we've never had before. and coming home and spending the rest of our lives together Smiling *sigh*
    i cant wait. maybe next year Smiling

    6 days 7 hours ago Report Comment

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