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Do Tell: What's the Best Piece of Advice a Parent's Given You?

Sat, 10/18/2008 - 9:00am by DearSugar
692 Views - 42 comments

Getting unsolicited advice, especially from our parents, can be more frustrating and intrusive than helpful. With more years and life experience under their belts, some of what they say must be true, which is why it’s always good to at least hear them out even if you find their know-it-all sentiment irritating.

My mom always told me to beware of charming men, and to this day I'm not convinced by a charmer until I see his genuine side — I think it's saved me a few heartaches! I’ve shared mine, now what’s yours? Do tell: What’s the best piece of advice you got from your parents?

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42 Comments Add a Comment

  • aeschere's picture
    aeschere
    1

    i don't really consider this advice, but my mother always tells me "this too shall pass." i'm beginning to see she's right and i'm glad she shared that little sentence with me.

    11 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • Marci's picture
    Marci
    2

    That when people ask 'How are you', most of them don't really want to know how you are. It's just another thing to say after 'Hi'. So don't start telling them unless they ask a second time; then you know they mean it.

    11 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • gemsera's picture
    gemsera
    3

    My dad is always right. I've learnt this over time. Its nice to know the right thing to do he always helps Smiling

    11 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • babysoftpink's picture
    babysoftpink
    4

    don't want to remember. Haven't spoken to them for years and want it to be that way for life. Theirs of course.

    11 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • sass317's picture
    sass317
    5

    My mom said "give geeks a chance" I dated bad boy after bad boy for years (as did my mom before she met my dad) and they were all jerks. I finally grew up enough to give a nice guy a shot and whaddya know, now Im married to him. Mom was right- and my parents love my husband and I love my in-laws, it worked out fabulously.

    11 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • dragonbaby's picture
    dragonbaby
    6

    The best advice ever came from my Dad. He said, "When people show you who they are -- believe them." Just another version of actions speak louder than words but I've found his take on it puts a fine point on it.

    11 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • Mesayme's picture
    Mesayme
    7

    Well, I didn't have parents who participated in my life... but my grandmother always told us before we went out in public 'If you embarrass me, I'll embarrass you.' I didn't know what that meant exactly, but I didn't want to find out. And when I left for school she would say 'Don't embarrass yourself." That was pretty much the golden rule that I follow and teach my children today.
    Oh, my father is a musician and he said on a rare occasion that I saw him ...'Don't become famous.' I see why now.

    11 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • LoveSarah's picture
    LoveSarah
    8

    "Take it one day at a time"

    It helps when everything is stressing me out, and I'm not sure how to fix any of the issues I have.

    11 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • Mesayme's picture
    Mesayme
    9

    **I should add... that I listen to my father's advice as well. I didn't even consider becoming a famous person.

    11 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • ilanac13's picture
    ilanac13
    11

    my mom always used to tell me to make sure that i understand what my value is to everyone in every situation since there are always going to be people out there who want to bring me down or under-value me. it's that way in work and in relationships, and i think that it's really important. i've learned that i can't let people make me feel like i'm not good enough since i know what i have going to me..

    11 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • Fallen85's picture
    Fallen85
    12

    My dad told me "No man or woman is worth your tears and the one who is wont make you cry"

    My mom told me "Pay yourself first and always have a back-up plan."

    My mom is the smartest woman I know. She's been through EVERYTHING and gives the absolute best advice for any situation. My dad doesnt get stressed about anything. Whether I've lost my job, broke my foot or got cheated on he always stayed calm and just told me that life will always move on and things will always get better.

    I love and cherish my parents and I pity those who werent blessed like I was or people who dont appreciate the two people who are responsible for their life.

    11 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • GlowingMoon's picture
    GlowingMoon
    13

    From my Mom: The value of education. Doing well in school opened a lot of doors for me. I met a lot of great people. Also, doing well in school developed me personally. I'm analytical, open to new ideas, and good with time management.

    Oh. My Mom also taught me the value of my good health. Raising me, it was important to her that I was well-rounded, not just focus on school. She encouraged me to join school sports, and physically exercise. I was a good athlete (won the Most Valuable Player trophy multiple times). To this day, I still exercise and maintain good physical fitness and health.

    I would share about my Dad, but I think my post is long enough. Smiling

    11 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • lickety split's picture
    lickety split
    14

    mom; marriage is not a choice you make one day, it's a choice you make everyday.

    dad: you catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.

    11 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • yadiet's picture
    yadiet
    15

    my mother always tells me to live my life like it was the last day ever!! and not to cry over no man because love will find its way..

    11 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • yadiet's picture
    yadiet
    16

    my mother always tells me to live my life like it was the last day ever!! and not to cry over no man because love will find its way..

    11 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • TheMissus's picture
    TheMissus
    17

    SAGE ADVICE ON MARRIAGE FROM MY MUM:

    "There are going to be points in a marriage when you're more like lovers... And there are going to be times when you're more like friends. So marry someone whose friendship you enjoy."

    11 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • bijou boheme's picture
    bijou boheme
    18

    my mom taught me how to love and respect myself. and because of that, i love and respect others incredibly.

    11 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • julea's picture
    julea
    19

    wow, so much. i cant pinpoint one thing, but in my life my mother has given me so many valuable lessons. i am so grateful to have her. Smiling
    she has taught me to have good morals.
    to realize that each person has something that they are struggling with, so be nice than you need to be-- see the person in everyone.
    to take care of yourself BEFORE you are really ill or depressed or whatever, so it doesn't ever get really bad, and you never have to take weeks off to recover.
    to take care of your body, mind, and spirit.
    this all sounds kinda corny, but basically my mom has taught me everything i value.

    my dad, one thing that comes to mind is when I was about 5 or so, and we got our first baby pets (my mom had an old grumpy cat before), some kittens, and my dad said "you only have one chance to have always been nice to them".
    that stuck with me. not that i wouldnt have been nice to my cats. but y'know.

    11 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • Vsugar's picture
    Vsugar
    20

    Ok, this might be a little more, ahem, intimate than most people got from their parents, but truly TRULY was the best advice I've ever gotten from anyone.

    My parents said to me when I was about 13, "Sex is GREAT. That's why everyone wants to have it all the time. And it's SUPPOSED to feel great, and you are SUPPOSED to want to have it all the time. So if you find yourself getting sexual with someone and it DOESN'T FEEL RIGHT, it means it's with the wrong person or it's the wrong time."

    I can not TELL you how many of my girlfriends made really bad choices about them men they were intimate with because they thought sex was bad, so when they felt wrong and bad, they assumed it was because they were doing something "naughty". Only later did they realize that it's because the guy was a JERK or because they really weren't ready and then regretted it.

    This advice from my parents gave me permission to figure out who was right and who was wrong, and when to put the brakes on and when to go for it, and I am so grateful that they were so honest with me. I'm so grateful that they gave me the boundaries to understand when I was ready and told me that it was a decision I was supposed to feel happy and secure and good about.

    11 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • TwistandShout's picture
    TwistandShout
    22

    My mom taught me that even your family will treat you like crap and if it hurts, you shouldn't have to take it anymore.

    My dad and I teach each other new things every day. He's taught me how to compartmentalize, how to drive, how to read... And, most importantly, how to go through your mid-life crisis at fifteen and survive to have fun in high school. Over the last two months, he's given me a lot of advice: "Keep your hormones to yourself and don't get pregnant," "Don't believe politicians. They throw around words like "maverick" and "community" too much, and now in 2008, we no longer have either of those," and "I am so glad you're not like your brother."

    11 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • Mesayme's picture
    Mesayme
    24

    "you catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar."
    I've never understood that...why would you want to catch flies they never survive. So technically you kill flies with honey.
    I'm not sure why we use that sentiment, it's a little scary really.

    11 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • graylen's picture
    graylen
    25

    What a great post. My parents always taught me to respect myself and my morals and to truly stand up for what I believe in. I'm so glad they gave me the strength and tenacity to be who I am. So, really rather than an exact piece of advice, they just gave me a fantastic example, and I couldn't be more grateful.

    11 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • GlowingMoon's picture
    GlowingMoon
    26

    "Glowingmoon, I'd love to hear about your dad."

    Okay. From my Dad, I learned about moral responsibility towards my family. My Dad fulfilled his role as husband, father, son (to his parents), big brother (to his siblings) in a big way. He provided economic stability, food, shelter, and a strong sense of security. He was a benevolent patriarch of the family. To his brothers, he was a good role model. I learned from my Dad's example, and I think I behave similarly towards the family.

    I truly appreciate my Dad as well.

    11 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • CaffeePants's picture
    CaffeePants
    27

    My mom taught me to always stand up for myself and to plan ahead.
    My father taught me patience, forgiveness, and that there is nothing wrong with being a dreamer.

    11 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • LoveSarah's picture
    LoveSarah
    28

    Oh, and my Dad always told me "Knowledge is power" and that people can take away every thing I have, but they can never take away my mind. That's what really makes me push myself through school even though sometimes it is hard and I just want to quit.

    11 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • PinkNC's picture
    PinkNC
    29

    Beware of all people no matter how nice they may be, because anyone could stab you in the back when you lease expect it, stay alert and aware of all things and the people around you.

    11 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • HeidiMD's picture
    HeidiMD
    30

    My dad always told me, "Hard work pays off." I thought he was just goading me into doing things around the house at the time. Eye-wink Little did I realize how true that phrase is! Hard work got me through college, through medical school, and into my dream job. He also taught me a lot about integrity, honesty, and friendship. He encouraged me every step of the way through school and did whatever he could to support me and my brother. And he taught me to play guitar! He is the coolest guy in the whole world. Smiling

    11 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • DCRoamer's picture
    DCRoamer
    31

    Where to begin...

    The best guidance they have given me was that one should only go into debt for three things: car, house, or education. Nothing else. And even with those three, don't buy the Acura when a Saturn will do just fine Smiling

    11 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • millarci's picture
    millarci
    32

    My dad always told me that 'Don't have too much fun, because you might forget something important' and 'Always aim for perfection. You don't have to be perfect, but if you aim for perfection you're being the best you can be'.

    11 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • omigosh's picture
    omigosh
    33

    Whenever something bad happens to me and I cry and say 'it's not fair!', my parents will say to me "Life isn't fair". At the time it seems so mean. But it's true. Life has sweet and sour moments. It helps to keep things in perspective when bad things happen because it happens to everyone.

    11 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • anabj's picture
    anabj
    34

    My mother told us never to marry a man thinking he will change when we are married. He will never do it for good.
    And my grandmother told me when I introduced her my future husband that not to fight about different points of views with a man. Just let him go that he will come back when he realices you are right. If you insist, he will never give you the reason.

    11 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • anabj's picture
    anabj
    35

    they also told me the same that omigosh parents. Life is not fair. You have to take it as it comes.

    11 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • bigestivediscuit's picture
    bigestivediscuit
    36

    The best life advice I ever got from my mom was "Hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst." That way, you're ready to handle (or react to) almost any situation life throws at you.

    11 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • Spiderlove's picture
    Spiderlove
    37

    Both my parents died young (my mom was 35, my dad was 54)so, I think what they have taught me is to appreciate EVERY moment in life. It could end sooner than you think.

    11 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • BuffBabyD's picture
    BuffBabyD
    38

    Mom: As long as you tell the truth, you won't get in as much trouble than you would if you were to lie and get caught.

    Dad: Nothing in life ever comes for free.

    11 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • Autumns_Elegy's picture
    Autumns_Elegy
    39

    "No man or woman is worth your tears and the one who is wont make you cry"

    My mum said something similar to my sister when her heart was broken by this utter dickhead.
    She always told me to hang onto the men who took care of me and made me smile for no reason.

    My dad told me that whatever it is, it can be fixed with dynamite.

    11 weeks 3 days ago Report Comment
  • mama8699's picture
    mama8699
    40

    My mom gave me several pieces of advice that I took to heart and will pass on to my daughter: Don't rush into marriage. If you do decide to get married don't have kids right away-enjoy being a couple for a couple years to build the foundation and see if you actually get thru the first couple years. Be Kind to people. If your in a position to help someone, do it.

    11 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • Oinkeyyy's picture
    Oinkeyyy
    41

    Hmmm the best piece of advice that my parents have given me...

    my mom:
    about life- it always has a way of working itself out, be responsible for your actions and always try to do what YOU feel is right.
    about love/men- Imagine your life as a shelf. Never put a man at the top of your shelf before he puts you at the top of his. This way you make yourself happy first- you can only have a true relationship with another when you have a happy relationship with yourself first. When you are truly happy and he sees that you are capable of managing on your own, he will find you attractive on your own.There is no LIE in this; it's the only way to build a true relationship. When you are at the top of his shelf, take your guard down and sink into the love that you slaved over emotionally, enjoy the fruit of your labor, love with all of your heart. He deserves it.

    About other people- Always treat others with dignity and respect, they could be a homeless bum on the street but you will never broaden your mind if you do not apply yourself and relate to others. Everyone is similar in some way or another- make it a goal to find these similarities in a stranger wherever you may be. It will make you happier, and brighten somebody's day... hopefully.
    Of course... you should probably go with your gut instinct and beware of trouble.

    8 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • cheekyredhead's picture
    cheekyredhead
    42

    My mom said "Never Rush" and that goes for everything in life.

    My grandma said "Walk into every room as if you own it and you will. You belong everywhere you go and don't allow anyone to tell you otherwise."

    My dad said "If it is too good to be true then it is not true."

    My grandpa said "Nothing is for free."

    My favorite aunt said "If you are looking for a ten then you better be a ten, otherwise you are spinning your wheels."

    My favorite uncle said "If it smells like sh*t, looks like sh*t, or feels like sh*t then wash the damn stuff off. No body needs sh*t."

    My best friend says "You are worth more than you will ever realize."

    My great granny said "Nothing is more important than family."

    What I tell my kids: "People must earn your trust because you are worth more than anything they have to give you."

    ...What I wish I had listened to...
    "Don't be in such a hurry to grow up."
    Youth really is wasted on the young...and you never get that back.

    6 weeks 3 days ago Report Comment

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